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THE MILLENNIAL QUIZ
One last Y2K gag
Which of the following had a bigger impact on civiliziation in the last 2000 years?
1.
Charles "The Hammer" Martel defeats the Muslims at Tours
Greg "The Hammer" Valentine defeats Bret Hart at Wrestlemania IV
2.
Beethoven's Symphony #5
Lou Bega's Mambo #5
3.
Constantinople renamed Istanbul
Hot Springs, N.M. renamed Truth or Consequences
Houston Oilers renamed Tennessee Titans
4.
Confusius advises, "Do not do to others what you would not have them do to you."
Jesus advises, "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone."
Jimmy Buffett advises, "Why don't we get drunk and screw?"
5.
Sirhan Sirhan
Duran Duran
6.
Antony and Cleopatra
Abellard and Heloise
Regis and Kathie Lee
7.
The Great Schism
The XYZ Affair
The Starr Report
8.
Caesar crosses the Rubicon
Washington crosses the Delaware
Alec Guinness crosses the Kwai
9.
Kissing the Blarney Stone
Bathing in the Ganges
Joining the Mile High Club
10.
Sudden appearance of the Virgin Mary at Lourdes
Sudden appearance of the Virgin Megastore in Times Square
11.
The Black Plague
The Spanish Flu
The Melissa Virus
12.
Anglo-Saxons defeated by William the Conqueror (1066)
Spanish Armada defeated by Britain (1555)
Baltimore Colts defeated by New York Jets (1969)
13.
Nero fiddles while Rome burns
Operation Desert Storm
14.
Martin Luther nails 95 Theses
Ric Ocasek nails Paulina Pouriskova
15.
Rasputin's hypnotic mind control of Lady Romanova
Don King's hypnotic mind control of Mike Tyson
16.
Madonna's Immaculate Conception
Madonna's "Immaculate Collection"
Franco Harris's Immaculate Reception
17.
Warren Harding
Tonya Harding
18.
Newton and the apple
Clinton and the cigar
19.
Roman noses
Roman numerals
"Roman Holiday"
20.
Caesar Augustus conquers known world
Alexander the Great conquers known world
Ricky Martin conquers known world
21.
Sanskrit
Latin
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22.
The Upanishads
The Kamasutra
Penthouse Forum
23.
(as misnomers:)
The Holy Roman Empire
The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
The Virgin Megastore
24.
Theory that William Shakespeare was really pen name of Francis Bacon
Theory that Thomas Pynchon was really pen name of J.D. Salinger
Theory that if you play Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" while watching "The Wizard of Oz," strange things happen
25.
Jehovah
Allah
Bill Gates
26.
Hamburgers
Frankfurters
Little Rockers
27.
John Lennon
V.I. Lenin
The Lennon Sisters
28.
(as misnomers:)
Pope Innocent III
Jason Priestly
Dick Butkis
29.
burning the city of Carthage after its conquest by Rome
burning Joan of Arc after her capture by British
burning Bee Gees CDs after "Disco Sucks" protest at Cubs game
30.
Frosty the Snow Man
Vanilla Ice
Hale Irwin
31.
the nylon stocking
the stiletto heel
the Windsor knot
32.
Lewis & Clark
Gilbert & Sullivan
Cheech & Chong
33.
the cave paintings at Lascoux
the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel
the "Dilbert" comic strip
34.
"Surrender? We have not yet begun to fight."
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the the fight in the dog."
"Takes a lickin', keeps on tickin'."
35.
Stratford-Upon-Avon
Oriole Park at Camden Yards
36.
Godot
Guffman
the cable guy
37.
St. Jerome translates Bible from Aramaic to Latin
Nabokov translates "Lolita" from English to Russian
38.
Hegel's "Phenomenology of Spirit"
Nietzsche's "Man and Superman"
Gray's "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
39.
The Tao
The Dow
40.
The Santa Maria
The Mayflower
The Hubbell Spacecraft
41.
Catherine the Great and the horse
Marla Maples and the Donald
42.
The United Kingdom of England, Scotland and Wales
The Distributive Property of Multiplication With Respect to Addition
The Artist Formerly Known As Prince
43.
1066
1492
"5150"
44.
John the Baptist
Sir Walter Raleigh
Joaquin Murietta
45.
Huns
Hessians
Hittites
46.
the Chinese custom of foot-binding
the Russian custom of finishing open bottle of vodka
the American custom of working the week between Christmas and New Year's
47.
Sappho
Saki
Sade
48.
the printing press
the light bulb
the Palm pilot
49.
the M'ing Dynasty
the Roman Empire
Walmart
50.
General Lee
Major Tom
Colonel Sanders
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