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120 DAYS OF SO DUMB
Evaluating Dubya's first days in office; or,
Shooting ducks in a pond
At a recent White House press corps dinner, George W. Bush showed hundreds of journalists a revealing baby picture of his brother, Florida Governor Jeb Bush. In the photo, little Jeb was in the bathtub, tiny member in plain view, a picture of NAMBLA pornography. Dubya chortled.
This, friends, is our president, the man with access to the nuclear football, the commander and chief of our armed forces. There he stood with photo in hand, big dick next to little dick.
It will get worse before it gets better; my sources in Austin say it will take years to undo the mess George W. Bush made while governor of Texas -- and he only worked six months every two years. As president, he has four full years to screw everything up. So far, he's made great progress.
Traditionally, presidents are given a report card after the first 100 days in office. Traditionally, presidents also have press conferences, and good management skills, and charisma.
Anyway, here's Dubya's report card:
FOREIGN POLICY
On Sunday, February 18, Bush phoned the widow of NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, who died in a car crash earlier that week, to express his condolences. He spent more time on the phone with her than he has with any foreign head of state.
Dubya exemplifies the stereotypical ugly American. He's cocky, he smirks, he acts rashly, without considering consequences. So far he has kept us out of war, but he has managed to vex the better part of two continents. To wit:
When a CIA agent was discovered to be a Russian spy, he booted a dozen Russian diplomats out of the country. Russian President Putin retaliated by 86ing some American diplomats and threatened further action. Perhaps this was not the best way to handle a situation involving a friendly nation with nuclear capability.
His rejection of the Kyoto standards on global warming infuriated many heads of state. The U.S. is one of the biggest pollutants in the world -- a quarter of the carbon monoxide in the world's atmosphere is generated here -- and our participation is vital to reversing global warming.
President Kim of South Korea won the Nobel Peace Prize last year for extending the olive branch to North Korea. Bush refused to negotiate with the Communist nation on a missile ban treaty, eroding much of the work Kim had done.
Last I checked, our spy plane is still parked on Chinese soil. Bush did return the crew safely home, and dealing with the Chinese government is no cup of tea, but perhaps it would have made sense to wait a few months before selling weapons to Taiwan.
On the positive side, he brokered peace talks between the heads of Armenia and Ajerbaijan. He has met with most of the Latin American heads of state -- although his visit to Mexico was overshadowed by yet another bombing of Iraq. Like father, like son, I suppose.
His plan for a free trade agreement "from Alaska to Argentina" may be realized in 2005. Let's hope he will install a more sensible drug enforcement policy by then. If he thinks we have a drug problem now, wait till the Colombian couriers don't have to go through customs.
Grade: D.
ENVIRONMENT
He countermanded EPA head Christie Todd Whitman, emasculating the power of her office, and demonstrating a lack of organization and poor communication style. There's more arsenic in our drinking water now. He broke a campaign promise concerning carbon monoxide levels in the air, and blamed it on the energy crisis in California (which, it should be noted, he did nothing to help). He wants to drill for oil in Alaska. The director of the forestry division resigned, citing the President's anti-environmental practices. Any day now, they will begin logging in and building roads through some of our oldest protected forests.
Not that this is much of a surprise. Bush is so anti-environment, he might as well have told Greenpeace to go club some baby seals.
Grade: F.
HUMAN RIGHTS
Any doubts about Bush being a true conservative, compassionate or otherwise, went away when he nominated the odious John Ashcroft as Attorney General. Bush is about maintaining the status quo -- kowtowing to the old money, championing the outmoded patriarchal system, ignoring gays and lesbians, relegating women to the kitchen and the nursery.
He can blather all he wants about morality and religion and the natural order of things, but his pro-life stance is purely political. The restriction to, and criminalization of, abortion is an affront to the rights of women, and poor women in particular. By forcing women who don't want to have babies to have babies, he hopes to preserve the favored status of men in the corporate and political sphere. More unwanted babies means fewer women in the work force. Of course priviledged women, like Bush's daughters, could always fly to France to have an abortion.
Bush and Cheney want Roe v. Wade overturned. The Administration's first major move was to cut federal funding to international groups who offer abortions. This, and the nomination of Ashcroft, signaled that Dubya has reproductive rights in his sights.
There is a bill kicking around Congress now that would criminalize violence to a fetus. The case involves a man who beat up an eight-months-pregnant woman and killed her baby. Opponents fear this could open the door to illegalizing abortion of any kind. Legal experts believe the law, which may be passed, would be thrown out by the Supreme Court -- but who trusts the Supreme Court to do the right thing anymore?
The best thing that could happen on the reproductive rights front would be Jenna Bush getting knocked up by one of the University of Texas football players (Barbara is safe...no one has sex at Yale). We'll see how Dubya feels about a woman's right to choose when his daughter is carrying the dreadlocked lovechild of Ricky Williams.
Grade: F.
ECONOMY
Bush is no more to blame for the recent bear market than Reagan was for the bullish glory of his first 100 days. But the fact remains, we had growth and prosperity for eight years under Clinton, and now, just 100 some-odd days after Bush took office, unemployment is way up, the stock market is way down, people are getting laid off in droves, and consumer confidence is not where it should be. Surely this is not a coincidence.
Bush's $1.98 tax plan, which includes a $1.6 trillion across-the-board tax cut, will not help the economy. The $1.6 trillion will be divided evenly, Bush wants us to know: half to the haves, half to the have-nots. What he doesn't like to admit is that 98% of the country comprise the latter.
This is not Trickle Down; it's Piss On The Poor.
New legislation will put an end to the marriage penalty. And I agree that the estate tax is way too high. I would have no tax at all on estates up to $1 million, and a graduated tax after that.
With the President's blessing, Congress passed a bill changing the federal backruptcy laws, which will make it more difficult for individuals to repudiate debt by filing for bankruptcy. Perhaps this will nail money launderers and tax evaders, but it looks to me like a return to debtor's prison and a spit in the face of the honest worker.
Grade: D.
LABOR
Bush killed a workplace safety bill that would have made employers responsible for ergonomic assessments and stricter safety guidelines. This was a huge win for big business, which stood to lose millions in liability.
He refused to allow Northwest Airlines employees to strike, to not disrupt commercial air service. This helped Joe Consumer, true, but was a hit to the workers, who had to capitulate to management demands. He did zippo to help the California energy crisis, singing the hackneyed let-the-states-govern-themselves song Republicans sing when they're too lazy to act.
And, after demonstrating profound ignorance in dealing with organized labor vis a vis government contracts, he flipflopped positions, saving political face but looking like a fool in the process.
Grade: C.
MILITARY AND DEFENSE
He authorized a raise for soldiers and sailors, and upped benefits for widows of those killed in the line of duty. He holds the armed forces in high regard, and has greeted troops and participated in events on numerous occasions. This is all good by me.
But a missile defense system? First, it won't work, because it's the same silly Star Wars thing the Gipper green-lighted. Second, what for? The USSR disbanded years ago, despite what Tom Clancy thinks, and Iraq and Libya are not capable of flying passenger planes to Hawaii, let alone bombers to Washington. This is a money pit. Spend the money elsewhere -- like the children's hospital Shrub visited one day and de-funded the next.
Grade: B.
EDUCATION
His education bill is flawed, but I can't knock giving all that money to our pathetic public school system. Ironic that a functional illiterate introduced such a meaty education bill.
Grade: B+.
APPOINTMENTS
Colin Powell is the paradigmatic Secretary of State. While I disagree with his views, Dick Cheney is a capable and earnest Vice President.
That's where it ends. Ashcroft's nomination is a travesty. Interior Secretary Gale Norton and Whitman are not much better. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill still owns $100 million in stock at his old company, Alcoa, although he was supposed to have divested months ago. Smells like conflict of interest to me -- though Bush, who contrary to popular belief was not exonerated for insider trading a decade ago, feels otherwise. Tommy Thompson is a staunch pro-lifer in charge of health and human services; we'd be better off with Jabba the Hutt.
Said David Keene, chairman of the American Conservative Union, "Most of the conservatives who watch these things think this is a more conservative and better Cabinet than Reagan appointed in 1981."
That the media hailed this Cabinet as diverse indicates how little people understand the diversity issue. A group of ultra-conservative fiftysomethings is not diverse; I don't care if women, blacks, Hispanics, and Asians are among them.
The Bush Administration announced it would no longer work with the American Bar Association when nominating federal judges. The ABA makes mistakes, too, and, I'm told, leans to the left, but I would rather involve them in the process -- especially when the Supreme Court justices start dying.
Grade: D.
APPEARANCES
Bush likes to play at president. He enjoys smirking into the camera, and invoking the spirit of the American People. He implemented a dress code and strict protocols at the White House. He's visited half the states in the country since he took office, and dined with most major heads of state. He threw out the first pitch at the Milwaukee Brewers home opener, and threw the baseball better than any president in recent memory -- even his old man, who played first base for Yale.
Most importantly, the tee-ball games on the White House lawn have begun, and are a huge success. Bush likes tee-ball, because no one can throw him a curve.
Grade: A.
CONCLUSION
That's D, F, F, D, C, B, B+, D, and A. Bush's presidential grade-point average is 1.72 -- a barely-passing C-minus. Which reads, come to think of it, pretty much like his Yale transcript.
A hundred down, 1360 to go...
By Greg Olear
050801